When was the last time you did something you wanted to without thinking about what others would say or think When was the last time you did something for your happiness and not for others? As social beings, very often we fall prey to people’s judgments, and the thought of what others will think strikes us ever so often. We as a society too, are a part of such judgments, stereotypes, and blame games. So, this blog is about people and judgments.
We all are well aware of the saying” chaar log kya kahenge”. But do we not know the noble words “jeene ke hai chaar din” or ” kal ho na ho”.
Of course, we do but tend to stick to the former, because we humans love taking things for granted, even ourselves.
The question is, why do people judge? Do they do it intentionally or unintentionally? Do they judge in a good or bad way? Well, judgments are a result of the comparison.
“I would have never done something like that”, “look at her dress”, ” kitni moti ho gayi hai?”, “aise kaun baal colour karwata hai?”, “usko dekha hai kaise hasti hai?”.
Aren’t such comments too common these days? Do we not hear or say these things every day, intentionally or unintentionally?
With social media, these comments have now become public for everyone. Such intrusive people have taken the baton to Cyber Bullying now. Comparing each other’s lifestyle and doings are the major cause of judgments. Judging can be good too, confusing isn’t it? But it comes with a downfall while praising one person we defame the other.
If you aren’t aware of how such judgments spread real hate and negativity online, our article Can Cyberbullying Lead to Suicidal Thoughts? would help you figure out the grave consequences of such unkind comments.
Why do people judge?
People judge us for the smallest things we do or say. Judgments on a person’s dressing style, his/her way of talking, decisions one makes in their life, for their hairstyle, etc. When something that does not match or go along with our belief, our reflex is to judge.
Recognize that judgments are not real. Remember to ask questions, all the time. Choose gratitude for you. Choose kindness for you, to have and be all of you. Wake up each and every day and choose to practice these things. Before long, you will notice that even though judgment continues to exist all around you, it has no impact on you.
From this space, you are empowered to create your life.
We are not perfect and nor will we ever be, but the sooner we accept that we are as guilty as others, the sooner we will start to change our thoughts and, particularly, ourselves.
“If I stop judging other people, I free myself from being judged, and I can dance!” – Patti Digh
What needs do judgments fulfil?
“Often those that criticize others, reveal what he himself lacks.”- Shannon L. Alder
Not being able to do or achieve things that others are capable of doing, instigates a feeling of jealousy, the most basic and common reason why people judge one another. Ever wondered why some people keep pointing out the minor mistakes? Keep reminding you of your past mistakes?
Because doing so makes them feel better about themselves. No matter how great or small your achievement is, there will always be someone not happy about it.
“Arey isse achi job to unka beta kr rha”
“Uski kitni salary hai, itni si umar me itni achi naukri”.
Yes, even if you become the most successful person around, there will be someone standing with open arms. Nah! not to appreciate you, but to judge you.
How does judgment affect a person?
Judging a person can result in serious mental health issues and stress.
A person may develop feelings of isolation, neglect, misunderstanding, and would prefer to not express their emotions.
They start to feel ashamed of themselves. They prefer being alone and talk less, in order to not be judged.
How to stop judging someone?
The first thought which pops into our mind after reading and researching about things like this is, “how can we stop practicing such things?”. The moment we have thought of bettering ourselves for others is the same moment we have already started to better ourselves.
Yes, you read it right.
The practise of self-love is the most precious gift which we can give to ourselves, as well as others. Self-love teaches us how not to let other people’s thoughts and actions bother us. By practising self-love, we not only stop judging other people but, also, inspire others to do the same. We are not perfect, but we can at least try to be our best versions.
Why not be the sunshine in someone’s world of storms?
Our small act of kindness, small appreciation, small thought of easing someone else’s problem can be of great significance for the one suffering alone. So, why not spread love and positivity in a world where enormous amounts of hatred already persist?
Judgments, whether they come from you or someone else is designed to control, dis-empower, and stop you. No matter how harshly you judge you, no matter how harshly others judge you, there is no judgment that is greater than you.